I've been going through my devWatch (only 11 more to go!) and feelings of inadequacy are creeping in. Oh! Not that they're not always there but usually I try to tamp them down so that at least I'll get *some* work done. Note how much work I've been doing lately: none. "zero. zip. zilch. nada."

Okay that isn't *entirely* true. I've been crafting a lot lately doing all sorts of things with yarn, fluff, felt, string, paper, scissors and glue but nothing that I would call "art" per se. I have not been the least bit inspired to draw or paint--- bizarre, to say the least. I used to at least sketch and doodle even if nothing was worth posting but nothing again. No little designs on the corner of the newspaper, no school notes vying for space on pages filled with drawings, no notes for new paintings on post-its stuck everywhere.

I guess my excuse is that I'm concentrating on school. It's been so long since I was in school and the time away really gave me the opportunity to reflect on past *ahem* "errors of judgment" shall we say? In more candid terms, I've really fucked up and now that I'm back I don't want to do anything that will impede my progress toward perfect studentitude (haha)

Okay! I know I angst about this same dilemma like, every once in a while but it's true everytime lol (at least I can laugh at myself about it) isn't angst the "artistic condition"? I wish I could balance art and life like so many people do so successfully. With all other aspects of my life, I suppose I just need to stop making excuses.

So this weekend! After my school work (i.e. that explication paper I've been ignoring) is done I'm finally going to get to that painting I've been avoiding because I think it's crap. Who knows, it might not turn out so badly after all C: I remain optimistic.